Stupid Criminal

ABBEVILLE, La. (AP) — Authorities say bones found in the chimney of a bank in Louisiana have been identified and belong to a man who has been missing for 27 years.
The man's remains were found in May when the bank started renovations. Abbeville police Lt. David Hardy says the remains belong to Joseph W. Schexnider. He was 22 years old when his family last saw him in January 1984.
At that time, Schexnider was wanted for possessing a stolen car, but it's not clear exactly why or when Schexnider entered the chimney.
Officials couldn't determine how he died, but police speculate that he starved.
The bank closed off the chimney in the mid to late 1980s.

Two Super Outbreaks Side by Side: How do they compare?

1974 Outbreak Confirmed Totals:

Total Tornados: 143
Total of F-0's 11
Total of F-1's 37
Total of F-2's 30
Total of F-3's 35
Total of F-4's 24
Total of F-5's 6
Confirmed Fatalities 319
Date of tornado outbreak:April 3–4, 1974
Duration: 18 hours
Damages: $3.5 billion (2005 dollars)

2011 Outbreak Confirmed Totals:

Total Tornados: 336 (More than twice as many as in 74)
Total of EF-0's 110
Total of EF-1's 134
Total of EF-2's 54
Total of EF-3's 23
Total of EF-4's 11
Total of EF-5's 4
Confirmed Fatalities 346 (Unconfirmed as this is an estimate and expected to climb)
Date of tornado outbreak:April 25-28, 2011
Duration: 3 days, 6 hours, 33 minutes
~$10 billion (2011 USD)

The Ultimate Breakdown

Total twisters, 2011 knocks 1974 off its perch. The number of F-5's 1974 reigns supreme same with F-4's and F-3's. F-0 through F-2 the 2011 outbreak wins. 2011 was deadlier, longer, and costlier.

(Just a projection, and by no means this is intended to get anyone to do anything but wonder... 1973 they legalized abortion and in 2010 several states decided to legitimize gay marriage. Whether or not you see a correlation between the two seemingly unrelated events is entirely up to you and your spiritual viewpoints... and in no way might our changing the law make the weather less deadly... just interesting. )

Joplin Supertornado Defies... Commonly Accepted Tornado Safety Practices

Ride it out in a bath tub

(Reuters) - Like a lot of other Joplin homeowners, Herndon Snider rode out the May 22 tornado in a bathtub. Other popular places to take cover from the vicious tornado were closets and center hallways.

Such is the price people pay for living in communities such as Joplin where basements are rare due to rocky, wet soil.

About 82 percent of homes in the Joplin area have no basements, according to the Jasper County assessor's office.

The vulnerability of residents to injury or death in tornadoes for lack of a basement has drawn attention to the need for more storm shelters for individuals or large groups of people.

Head to the basement

By David Volz
The sister of Rick Harris of Nashville was among those killed in the tornado that devastated a portion of Joplin, MO.
Sally A. Moulton, 58, has been confirmed among those who lost their lives, Harris said.
Other family members of the local man survived the terrible EF 5 twister that left over 130 people dead in its wake.
His niece, Erin, four other adults and a small child were lifted into the air in a bathtub and crashed to the ground. No one was seriously injured.
His sister, Kathy Mason, and other family members took shelter in a basement shortly before their home was ripped apart.
Sally Moulton was performing in a play at the Stained Glass Theatre when the storm struck.
Kathy Mason told The Nashville News that the audience, cast and crew were moving to the basement when the theatre was struck Sunday.
“Knowing my sister, I know she refused to go down and was letting others go ahead of her,” said Kathy Mason.

Interior Closet or Hallway



JOPLIN, Mo. – With a half-hour advance warning, why did so many people die in the tornado that ravaged this southwest Missouri city?

That’s the question government officials are still striving to fully answer six weeks after the deadliest U.S. twister in six decades killed 156.

Storm experts said an obvious partial answer lies in the ferocity of Joplin’s EF-5 category tornado, with winds ranging beyond 200 mph at its vortex.

“There’s not much you can do,” said Bill Davis, chief meterologist for the National Weather Service in nearby Springfield, Mo.

Commonly Accepted Tornado Safety

WHAT TO DO...

In a house with a basement: Avoid windows. Get in the basement and under some kind of sturdy protection (heavy table or work bench), or cover yourself with a mattress or sleeping bag. Know where very heavy objects rest on the floor above (pianos, refrigerators, waterbeds, etc.) and do not go under them. They may fall down through a weakened floor and crush you.

In a house with no basement, a dorm, or an apartment: Avoid windows. Go to the lowest floor, small center room (like a bathroom or closet), under a stairwell, or in an interior hallway with no windows. Crouch as low as possible to the floor, facing down; and cover your head with your hands. A bath tub may offer a shell of partial protection. Even in an interior room, you should cover yourself with some sort of thick padding (mattress, blankets, etc.), to protect against falling debris in case the roof and ceiling fail.

In an office building, hospital, nursing home or skyscraper:Go directly to an enclosed, windowless area in the center of the building -- away from glass and on the lowest floor possible. Then, crouch down and cover your head. Interior stairwells are usually good places to take shelter, and if not crowded, allow you to get to a lower level quickly. Stay off the elevators; you could be trapped in them if the power is lost.

In a mobile home:Get out! Even if your home is tied down, you are probably safer outside, even if the only alternative is to seek shelter out in the open. Most tornadoes can destroy even tied-down mobile homes; and it is best not to play the low odds that yours will make it. If your community has a tornado shelter, go there fast. If there is a sturdy permanent building within easy running distance, seek shelter there. Otherwise, lie flat on low ground away from your home, protecting your head. If possible, use open ground away from trees and cars, which can be blown onto you.

At school:Follow the drill! Go to the interior hall or room in an orderly way as you are told. Crouch low, head down, and protect the back of your head with your arms. Stay away from windows and large open rooms like gyms and auditoriums.

In a car or truck: Vehicles are extremely dangerous in a tornado. If the tornado is visible, far away, and the traffic is light, you may be able to drive out of its path by moving at right angles to the tornado. Otherwise, park the car as quickly and safely as possible -- out of the traffic lanes. [It is safer to get the car out of mud later if necessary than to cause a crash.] Get out and seek shelter in a sturdy building. If in the open country, run to low ground away from any cars (which may roll over on you). Lie flat and face-down, protecting the back of your head with your arms. Avoid seeking shelter under bridges, which can create deadly traffic hazards while offering little protection against flying debris.

In the open outdoors: If possible, seek shelter in a sturdy building. If not, lie flat and face-down on low ground, protecting the back of your head with your arms. Get as far away from trees and cars as you can; they may be blown onto you in a tornado.

In a shopping mall or large store: Do not panic. Watch for others. Move as quickly as possible to an interior bathroom, storage room or other small enclosed area, away from windows.

In a church or theater: Do not panic. If possible, move quickly but orderly to an interior bathroom or hallway, away from windows. Crouch face-down and protect your head with your arms. If there is no time to do that, get under the seats or pews, protecting your head with your arms or hands.

What went wrong

The forecasts were excellent and widely distributed. The warnings were outstanding. People I talked to in the field today were aware and ready. Most were watching the television coverage, waiting for the storms to move into their prescribed safe places.

But, in the center of the path of the EF4/5 tornadoes, they had little chance. If they were just outside the core, it was the luck of the draw. Did the closet survive? Or was it the bathroom? Center of the house, lowest floor is the best choice in a home without a basement. Some chose the wrong house, leaving a house that remained intact for one that was destroyed.

Not a Hypercane but Close enough...

Mother Nature can be one hell of a bitchy cunt. And look at this: She's not afraid to prove this.

First Person View Of Joplin Tornado

We've seen over and over again in 2011 just how crabby the old gal can be. From the earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan, to what is being dubbed the Tornado Super Outbreak of 2011. Mankind can design hybrid vehicles and go green all he wants but in the end, Mamma Nature is not inclined to respect mankind in return.

From poor Joplin Missouri, to war-torn Huntsville Alabama, to quaking-in-boots-but-overwise-unharmed Overland Park, KS, these people will all tell you Mother Nature has her bipolar mood swings. And having grown up in the Midwest myself, I would pass the warning on to you.

Tornadoes are serious business. This is not a scenario where you want to jump in your car and stick your iPod out the window on record unless you are Charles Doswell III with umpteen years experience under your belt and you know what you are doing. The Joplin tornado started out as a small, slender, multi-vortex little kitten of a twister that rapidly and swiftly transformed into a bloodthirsty, man eating lion on crack and steroids... as some poor people stuck in a gas station quickly found out. And for some reason folks, I was reminded of my late dog, the Rott Chow mix... who went from sweet and playful to a savagely snarling, terrifying bloodthirsty monster in the blink of an eye. Went from being a family pet to a force of nature, like that. Forces of nature are unpredictable, forces of nature prove to man just how small he really is, forces of nature... can kill.

With respect to tornadoes, folks, it is a lot like my late dog, except there is no restraining them or taking them out and putting a bullet in them. Speaking of bullets, Mother Nature does not have a bullet with your name engraved on it. She has billions of them engraved with "To Whom It May Concern". Rich or poor, great or small, male or female, young and old... that's simply the way it is. And you would do well to remember that.

Please, enough driving up to the edge of a twister to get yourselves some really good footage. The only thing standing between you and eternity at that point is sheer blind luck. Once we bury you, that's it... there are no second chances.

The Joplin tornado, once it was on the ground, was labeled by on-air meteorologists as to be UNSURVIVABLE. Meaning, people who were doing ALL of the right things such as taking shelter in a basement, etc were STILL getting killed. A million so-called storm chasers with cameras all pointed at it, with the latest in Doppler equipment, calling in all manner of live reports, was not going to change a damn thing... Joplin had TWENTY MINUTES warning, and LIVE COVERAGE, and ALL SORTS of tornado shelters and still this EF5 (the most violent) created a Tornado Emergency situation and transformed this once lively Midwestern town into a starkly ravaged hell on earth. And all this was caused by... a weather phenomenon that began its hellish life span as a non threatening looking funnel cloud.

The people in the gas station were all extremely lucky to have been in the heart of this satanically violent EF-5 and lived to tell about it. The gas station itself was a complete loss.

The weather has gotten alot crazier in the last 20 years by my perception, either because we've gotten better at keeping tabs on it or there really is something going on, with regard to monster supertornadoes becoming more and more common. So please, unless your name is Charles Doswell III, or Eric Rasmussen, or something similar... the next time you are faced with Mother Nature and her temper tantrums... if you are in immediate danger...

PUT DOWN YOUR VIDEO EQUIPMENT AND TAKE SHELTER AND LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Open Letter to the Next Generation

To Whom It May Concern;

If you are offended by this letter then you need to listen up. If you think this means you it probably does. If you would enjoy the same freedoms I have for almost forty years, maybe you would do well to take my advice to heart.

This goes out to those younger Americans, say, 30 and under who tomorrow will be this nation's leaders. And to them I say: You need to stop playing all of the stupid childish games that now occupy your attention to the exclusion of all else.

What do I mean by this? Well, you need to back the truck up for a moment and realize that you are now on a very short leash on which you are about to choke your fucking selves, because you fail to see it. Your childish behavior and stupid ways are going to trip you up, inevitably.

The reason we keep passing all of these bullshit laws is because YOU are not self-governing.

YOU don't see anything wrong with continuing in your stoner ways. Or contacting the ex girlfriend the judge specifically ordered you to STAY AWAY FROM. You prefer to try to repeal the drug laws which are admittedly way too draconian, and whine about how your life sucks when you are arrested for doing that which you should not do. Breaking the law is one thing but think about why many of those laws are there to begin with.

Its because our government has gotten way too reactionary to the point of trying to be pro-active. It has forgotten that its job is NOT to prevent terrible things but to deal with those who commit them. And if you weren't out there doing terrible things to begin with, we wouldnt have all these bullshit laws now.

People! Your government and judges do NOT CARE ABOUT YOU!!! Wake up and smell the coffee. They dont give a rat's ass about you, your wife, your child, etc. The only thing they give a fuck about is getting re-elected and holding onto the power to fuck your life up. Or more to the point, meting out "justice" when you fuck your own life up.

You can remove their power over your life only by self-governance and realizing that ultimately you will not answer to them but to God. As a society we have forgotten God and lost our fear of doing things we should not do, and our motivation to do the things that we should. Hence we are not out there helping one another but destroying one another through words and actions. We are not building each other up when we are playing games and tearing each other down.

You are ensuring the development of statism by taking God out of the equation altogether and making the government your higher power to which you will answer. As Lord Acton once wrote, "Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely." Its not just abortion and homosexual marriage; that was just the starting point. You will surrender your freedom when you put the government in charge of every aspect of your life. Divorce, child custody, restraining orders, visitation, division of property, etc. By committing sexual crimes you give them power to determine where you will live, where you will work, and possibly for the rest of your life.

It's when you go above and beyond the call of duty that the government loses its power, maybe not over your person but definitely over your spirit. Too many times I have seen lives broken and eyes heavy with tears because of the consequences the person must bear for their own misbehavior. They want to hang you. Stop giving them rope!!!!

Each time I have gone to court for some matter, I have won, because if you show the law your on the side of the law, then the law is on your side. If you do things that are against the law then the law will not be in your favor...

And against things such as mercy, compassion, love, faith, hope... there is no law.

Wake up and let the Spirit lead you out of this!!! Only when more people do this... will the need for letters such as this one be negated.

America is quickly becoming a no-man's land because of the notion that it's every man for himself. Its up to you to change it. You have the chance.

WEINERGATE and how the Press has GOBBLED IT UP

This is probably the oldest story in the book had it not been for the man's last name...

Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York said today he has engaged in "several inappropriate" electronic relationships with six women over three years, and that he publicly lied about a photo of himself sent over Twitter to a college student in Seattle over a week ago.

"I take full responsibility for my actions," Weiner said. "The picture was of me, and I sent it."

The announcement came as ABC News prepared to release an interview with Meagan Broussard, a 26-year-old single mother from Texas who provided dozens of photos, emails, Facebook messages and cell phone call logs that she says chronicle a sexually-charged electronic relationship with Weiner that rapidly-evolved for more than a month, starting on April 20, 2011.

View an exclusive slideshow of images obtained by ABC News.

ABC News reached out to Weiner earlier today for comment about his possible ties to Broussard, but he did not respond to requests for an interview. At a press conference later, Weiner confirmed Broussard was one of the women with whom he sexted.

Broussard's story had threatened to expose the secret online life of one of the House Democrats' most popular members, and a man many considered a leading candidate for mayor of New York City.

It also raised new questions about Weiner's explanation for how a photo of a man's groin area ended up on his public Twitter feed on May 27. Today the congressman said he accidentally sent the image to a woman, Gennette Cordova, who was following him on Twitter, as a joke.

Man shows picture of his hot dog to woman, man gets busted, man tries to lie his way out of it, man gets busted again, man finally admits he is a lying sack of rat guts and cat vomit and is thoroughly chastened, but won't step down. This was first brought to you by none other than Slick Willie (William Jefferson Clinton, former President, now a wrinkled old fart you wish would just shut up and die, Jimmy Carter Jr)




I don't think there is a man alive who hasn't at some point said "Look, here is my package!!!! Ain't it great!!!!" Synapse fails to see the big deal here. Perhaps if money were involved, as with the John Edwards scandal, then I could see making such a big deal out of it. As it is, dunderheads come in all walks of life. Only Edwards wasn't going to get out of his peccadilloes what the other guy did and that is becoming the laughingstock of the whole nation. After all, no one ever referred to a penis as an "Edwards":)

Perhaps if Weiner had the common sense to know that the mere mention of his name in connection with his improperly packaged hot dog was going to elicit such sniggering and outright laughter after he spent a week whining that his Twitter was hacked but he couldn't say with certitude it was not a picture of him, then he might never have done it. We can go on and on and on saying that such locker room behavior has no place in the halls of Congress, etc. etc. etc. but the fact remains you can't polish a turd. Nor can you fix stupid.

And the press has now dubbed the whole affair "Weinergate". Which is an obvious play on the first widely publicized scandal of "Watergate". Perhaps there should be a new nickname for this one and that would be "Whinergate".

But seriously. I will never be able to eat another hot dog again without remembering this story. :)

back online

Synapse is back after a few fucked up months long hiatus. I feel bad because the hard drive on my old laptop was going south for a few months and the last one to touch it before it cried uncle was my daughter.

Naturally she took the lion's share of the blame for it. But ol Synapse stepped up and told everyone No... the computer was preparing to shit the bed long beforehand.

When I find new material to gripe about I will let you know. In the meantime, I'm grappling with terminal illness both in myself and in the spouse. Its a funny thing to go to the hospital in an ambulance waiting for six hours, watching a packed waiting room trickle down to almost empty and your still waiting. Fucking Obamacare. Hey that didn't take long ;)