Open Letter to My Shithead Next door Neighbor

To the young white skinhead male I had the misfortune of laying eyes on this evening;

I'm pretty sure that it was your foul, evil self that called the Animal Control officer to turn in a complaint about me and my dog. His chain has been relocated to prevent him from coming over and taking a loaf in your yard.

I'm not going to fault you for that one, seeing as it is my dog and my responsibility.

If only I had your name. IF ONLY I HAD YOUR NAME, YOU FOUL AND REPUGNANT WASTE OF MY OXYGEN. If I had your name, it would be posted here along with all of your contact information, letting everyone know that you belong to a class that is FAR LOWER THAN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. Lower, even, than the Illuminati, the Committee of 300, or *gasp* the Clintons.

If I only had your name, I would announce to the world that you, Mr. So and so, are a degenerate and quite possibly solid proof of de-evolution. You are very lucky that I didn't come over into your yard and beat you half to death with my nine iron.

Your crime? HANGING THAT CUTE LITTLE ROTTWEILER PUPPY BY HIS CHOKE CHAIN UP IN THE AIR, ALL FOUR FEET OFF THE GROUND, IN FULL SIGHT OF NOT ONLY MYSELF BUT MY CHILDREN.

That puppy did NOTHING to you, you inevitable waste of your daddy's sperm cells! All he did was trespass into my yard looking for some love and attention, which my kids gladly gave, before they unknowingly brought him over to you for a heaping helping of your cruelty and abuse...

I should report you to the Animal Control officer, the way that you so often like to do to me, you prick. But I know that the fat piece of shit will do absolutely nothing about it. He seems to like to pick on me, despite the fact that my dog is well fed, has constant access to water, lives in the house, is never struck as punishment, and gets treated like a baby. The only time he is out on his chain is when he has to do his doggy business.

In stark contrast, YOUR dogs are tied outside in the bitter ass cold for hours on end, with no food, no water, and no way to escape the harsh winter conditions. In fact I am surprised that your young adult male pitbull has not yet snapped and mauled some little kid to death yet. And that young female that I hear you are planning to breed to make puppies? She is scrawny as hell and if she survives the birth process, I will be amazed indeed.

As I said, I don't need some fat piece of shit Animal Control officer to fight my battles for me. I believe in handling things at the lowest possible level. And I will tell you right now that what you did to that puppy is an excellent way of making him vicious.

I rant and rave all the time about the Federal government but you know what? At least we the people have a voice!!! We can call and email our reps and senators to tell them how fucked in the head they are. DOGS DON'T HAVE THAT CHOICE. They can't elect who owns them or have a say in how they are treated. They are utterly dependent on us for their welfare. They cannot just tear a person like you to shreds without ultimately paying the worst price.

Let me ask you why you strung that puppy up for a few seconds and deprived him of his air? Were you looking for some admiration from the girl you were talking to? Did it make you feel like a big man, choking something so utterly defenseless? Did it give you some sick sense of power, seeing that kids probably kicked sand in your face when you were little, or did you simply get off on seeing poor Jack strung up because that kind of thing floats your boat? Three years from now, when Jack retaliates and leaves a chunk of skin left on your face which will be permanently disfigured, ask yourself if this brutality on your own part was worth it.

My dog, happens to be a Rottweiler and Chow mix... two breeds both of which insurers shy away from, for their reputation as vicious dogs... but he happens to be an excellent family pet who puts up with more crap than your average dog. Will Jack be as lucky?

Tell ya what... Jack is MORE THAN WELCOME to come live with me and as for you, you little worm...

I hope you burn in hell.

Regards,

The Management