United Socialist States of America, anyone?

Well, tonight Synapse didn't exactly feel like writing. Synapse wanted to go on doing what he'd been doing all day; namely, camped out on the couch nursing a bod sprained from all the overexertion in trying to clean and organize and spring clean and rearrange, etc, the homestead...

But, damn it to hell, I am forced to write again. You see, your civil liberties are being corroded, eroded, disregarded, and just plum thrown out. And if I don't write about it, who in the hell will.

I treated myself to a few minutes on Youtube; and what I found was an appalling picture painted by a thundering horde of jack booted thugs calling themselves Ohio deputies, Namely, they were stripping naked and sticking fingers up the vagina of one Hopeless Steffey, who could do little else but lay prone on the cement floor and scream at the top of her lungs like the proverbial cat trapped in the washing machine on a spin cycle. And incredibly, a court ruled that despite both genders being present at this so-called strip search, obviously none too gentle at that, they did nothing wrong.

This only confirmed what I had long held as a suspicion: America, land of the free and home of the brave, is dead. Welcome to the brutal dictatorship known as the United Socialist States of America. If the shoe fits, wear it. Or just do what one Iraqi did and plug the President in the head with it for all I care.

Welcome to a system that promises you all of this free stuff while taking away everything you have. Sort of mind boggling. Hey what the hell was this Steffey chick screaming about? She had three hots and a cot. Never mind being naked for six hours and paraded around to booking wearing only a vest through a gaggle of male cops. Never mind that your face was mashed into the floor, your arms were practically yanked from your sockets, and there is blood dripping from your cheek from where the cop smashed you to the pavement. Why. The. Fuck. Are. You. Complaining.

Welcome to a system that promises justice while stripping one of due process. And if you get to call a lawyer, you will be very, very lucky indeed. You get hurt for "resisting arrest" it's your own damn fault. Don't look to us to patch your ass up.

The End is the Beginning of the End-- smashing pumkins.

Fortunately there are things YOU yourself can do to avoid what this person went through. More and more it's not going to be restricted to an isolated incident. You need to be smart.

In your interactions with the police, try to remember that the less you see of the boys in blue, the less likelihood of you coming across the bozo who should never have become a cop in the first place. And the less you see of HIM, the less chance of him and his buddies deciding they don't like your face. And the less they don't like your face the less chance of him and his buddies going ape-crap on your ass. With the Constitution increasingly being thrown out the window in favor of draconian policies and Orwellian procedures, you have to know HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF.

Which takes us to rule One... Do Not get into situations where you must call them. Do not put yourself in a position where they decide to "have a little talk" with you. Do not call them for every minor disturbance, infraction, annoyance, or do not get stupid and drive drunk and crash your vehicle into the neighbor's swimming pool. Do not walk into Wal Mart with a loaded gun. The less you see of them the better off you will be. And that means keep a low profile. Do not attract attention to yourself!!! (FYI this is NOT an anti-cop rant, but the police are NOT YOUR FRIENDS...







again, I hate to say this, but its getting damn hard to tell Mutt from Jeff anymore. They don't get paid to see things from your point of view, they get paid to uphold the law, and from the very shitty laws getting passed by federal and state legislatures year after year, its going to be increasingly impossible to plead your innocence, and whereas in yesteryear the reply would have been "Tell it to the Judge" today it might be "Tell it to the Floor". So, best to minimize your own interaction with the police, with the ideal interaction level being zero...and if you get stupid and find yourself getting skullcracked with batons don't say I didn't warn you.)

Rule two is, should you have the misfortune to have a law enforcement encounter, be respectful, be polite, and act like a mature adult. Cussing, screaming, crying, acting like a toddler, increases the chance of the cop losing his temper and thus increases the likelihood that you will not be pleasantly treated. In thirty years I have never once cussed a cop or disrespected a cop, even when I was in the wrong, and in those same thirty years I have never been beaten to a pulp.

Rule three: Should you have the misfortune to wear the pretty metal bracelets that they (sometimes) like to surprise people with, do not act like a fucking retard. Do not fart in the cop's face, do not squirt breast milk in their face, do not take a shit in their cruiser... You Have The Right To Remain Silent. It means "SHUT UP!!!" Say....NOTHING. While you are now in their hands, and it sucks to be you, and you do not know what might happen once you are down at the station, you've at least minimized the risk of getting beaten beyond recognition. The place to speak up is not in the police station it is in the courtroom. The person to speak to is not the cop it is your fucking attorney. The one teacher you do not want or need right now is experience. Be smart.

Rule Four: Keep your mouth shut about the Constitution; these people simply don't care. To them its an outdated piece of paper. And if they don't read you your Miranda rights shut up about it. Simply make a mental note of it and pass this bit of info on to your attorney. When a military person falls into the hands of the enemy they are limited to giving four pieces of information to their captors: Name, Rank, Service Number and Date of Birth. You don't have rank or service number most likely so limit your responses to Name, Address, and Date of Birth. Other than that... SHUT THE HELL UP.

You would do well to memorize these Four Simple Rules of Engagement and stick to them, at least until the Second American Revolution gets underway. :)

Even if you are as guilty as hell, even if you have 300 outstanding speeding tickets, even if you cut off the head of your neighbors cat and stuffed the beheaded carcass into the mailbox, they still do not have the right to beat you senseless. Nevertheless, I hope you never have to use this fifth rule I have devised, but if all else fails and the baton is raining its wrath on your skull casing, there's a Tazer stuck in your ass, and fifteen cops are standing around eating donuts and kicking you in the ribs, here is what to do...

GO LIMP. Play dead. Do not resist, do not scream, do not thrash and flail and flop haplessly on the floor... simply put, do not do anything but lie there and take it. They have the power now, and you are powerless. It's all right, because later on you will be able to sue the bejesus out of their employer, (the department) and possibly walk away very rich. Let them tire themselves. Eventually they will walk away. Your first obligation is to take care of yourself and that means minimizing the potential damage inflicted. Don't give them an excuse to beat you comatose.

Like I said, I hate that I had to write this at all. I would much rather continue to live in an era where people had rights and the government had the obligation to uphold the rights of its citizens, but I cannot hide behind that notion any longer. Nor can I lie to myself any longer and say "The police are my friends". In a few cases it may be true but its getting damn difficult to tell anymore. I hope you never have to use my little "If-Then" discourse. I hope you never find yourself the topic of a perfect stranger's dinner conversation. Be smart. Don't let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash.

Stay safe. It's a jungle out there and it's getting worse every day.